Wanted: New Products Presenter Needed: Card Table

I have been scanning the want ads, since I need to find a new job, oh, yesterday. Some of the funny/odd things that I've come across include:

A position for a new products presenter (like those ladies at Sam's Club that give out bite-sized samples of Little Smokies), that specified "Must have own card table." WTF? Business is so bad they can't even spring for the card table? And, it's not like they've stopped manufacturing and selling card tables. I suppose if I got the job, I could always go *buy* a card table, right? I'm picturing this hefty balding dude in a bad suit with a cigar hanging out of the side of his mouth, saying "Well, we like your qualifications, missy, but ya ain't gotta card table. That's a deal breaker."

"Wanted: Virtuoso violinist for private performances." (That sounds like it ought to be in the men seeking women section of the Dallas Observer, quite frankly.)

"Need cleaning lady for elderly couple. Wife is extremely picky about house cleaning." (Well, she sounds like a joy! Sign me right up!)

Then there are always those extremely vague ads that say things like "Hiring friendly people with office experience and a professional attitude. First 300 calls will be interviewed." Um, for what? 900 Sex Lines? Because I'm going to need more detail than you're giving me. Hours? Job duties? Some vague idea that the job I'm applying for doesn't involve me transporting luggage across state lines?
- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 9:03 PM