Could it be....SATAN?

So, some of you may know that I've started a new job as a church secretary. Stop laughing. I mean it. Stop. Yes, me. Yes, in a real church.

Part of my responsibilities as church secretary is to create, publish, print, fold, sort, spindle, mutilate, seal, and mail 300 newsletters per week. I also get to prep the church bulletins for Sunday services, help the pastor with his Sunday school lesson, and straighten the sanctuary on Fridays. The excitement is truly almost more than I can handle. (Actually, it's been kind of nice, given the recent turmoil that is My Life, to have a nice, quiet, peaceful place to spend four hours every day. And the irony of me being forced to read scripture for four hours a day during this time hasn't escaped me, either.)

So, I was prepping the church bulletin for this week, and I was typing in the appropriate hymns. One of them caught my eye, and made me giggle. And now, I just can't stop thinking about it. The title is "We Wish To See Jesus."

I keep thinking of these Biblical businessmen, wearing whatever the equivalent of an ancient business robe would be, approaching a receptionist and stating, in a very serious tone, "We wish to see Jesus."

The receptionist would smack her gum, stick her pencil in her halo, and say "Jesus isn't in. Do you have an appointment?" Then she'd examine her manicure while politely ignoring the unexpected guests.

This is how my mind works. Does anybody else find these scenarios playing out in their mind on a daily basis?

My dear daughter, E, has developed a habit of carrying around a small stuffed dog under her arm. She carries this dog with her everywhere. She reminds me of nothing so much as a 007-esque villain, stroking her dog and plotting ways to destroy me.

E is six. She is entering a stage of asserting her independence. For example, she's adamant about being allowed to choose her own clothing and dress herself. Which is great....I'm all for anything that means less work for Mom, quite frankly. However, she came out of her room this afternoon, ready for a trip with me to the bookstore, and she was wearing long red stretchy pants, with plaid shorts over them (in shades of pink, red, and orange), a purple sweatshirt, and a short-sleeved bright pink and turquoise-striped blouse over THAT. Oy, my eyes! I suggested that she might want to reconsider her wardrobe choices and pick something a bit less....well, eyeball-stripping, to be honest. She was NOT a happy girl. She finally explained to me that she was dressed in so many colors and patterns because she was mimicking a chameleon. Apparently, when chameleons are excited, they have an explosion of color all over their body. And, she was excited about going to the bookstore.

There's never a dull moment around here.
- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 7:14 PM (1) comments

 
So, how are you doing?

People keep asking me how I'm doing. The answer is....well, it varies, from day to day. And sometimes from hour to hour. Overall, I think I'm doing pretty damn good. I'm still getting dressed every morning and driving to work, and talking to people, and I haven't crawled into a hole with a liter of tequila. I count these things as victories.

Jill's Post-Separation FAQ:

Do you think you want to go for a weekend conference in May?

MAY???? MAY???? Are you freaking kidding me? I can't even think past "Tuesday" at this point, and people are asking me about May. I don't even know what my life will look like in May.

Have you thought about the fact that he might have left you for another woman?

Thanks. No, really. Thanks. Because a) OF COURSE I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, and 2) If I haven't thought about it WHY ARE YOU BRINGING IT TO MY ATTENTION? Jesus. Seriously.

How's E doing?

Fine. She has no idea that anything is going on. Because I can't figure out how to tell her yet.

Did you ever think you'd be nearly 40 and single again?

Fuck you.
- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 7:45 PM (4) comments

 
Things I've Learned Since The Big Change:

--I'm finding it hard to imagine a world in which I'll ever again trust anybody enough to get naked in front of them.

--I'm made of much stronger stuff than I ever realized.

--I'm spending much more time alone than I used to, and I'm finding out that I'm pretty good company.

--When your marriage ends, the first thing many people mention to you is that you'll "find someone else." I can't imagine how long it'll take me to actually want to "find someone else", but I'm pretty sure it'll take longer than a week for that to occur.
- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 6:58 PM (0) comments

 

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 7:20 PM (2) comments

 
Sometimes, something happens that is so completely shocking and heart-shattering, that you almost can't believe it's happening. Because it has to be a nightmare, and you're going to wake up, otherwise you can't bear it.

One conversation, one day. It can challenge everything you think you know about yourself. It can leave you wondering who you are. It can leave you wondering if you ever knew who you were. Have you been living a lie? Are you really that naive? How can you ever trust anybody, ever again?

The things you've always taken as fact, are not.

The things you've known were true for decades, aren't. Someone you trusted with your life, your heart, your soul, and your most prized possession proves himself/herself unworthy of that trust. Could you ever really trust them? Maybe you're just stupid. And naive.

It's possible to feel a part of you die, and you know with absolute certainty that you'll never have that part of yourself back. It leaves you broken, and hurting, and bleeding, and crying inside.

You don't feel as if anybody will ever want you again. You don't even know who YOU are.

There are only a few things in this life that can bring this particular kind of pain and devastation....death, terminal illness, divorce. It's a complete and total shock to the system and it leaves you forever changed, deep down in your cells.
- posted by Perpetually Romesick @ 9:14 PM (0) comments